Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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