Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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