Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
