Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
