i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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