If that was your dad, he is hot
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
