I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
