Where is the hickey?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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