Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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