that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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