Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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