The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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