I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
