Me too!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
