I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
