so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
