She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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