he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
