And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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