shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just made out with a guy for $7.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
