I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
