That's when you crack a 10am beer
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
