would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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