As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
