Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
