I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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