i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
