six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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