Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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