she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
