Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
