Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize