I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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