Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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