I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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