I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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