She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
