I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
