I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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