um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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