Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
