Say something about gay babies.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
