Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
