its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
