we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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