So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dignity is for republicans.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
