:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
