Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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