At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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