you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
