were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
